Saitama V Zombies
by reptilia321
Summary: All he wants is a challenge. All they want is a bite to eat. What could possibly go wrong?


Saitama looked around at his new surroundings. Cars were overturned into nothing but burning shells. Craters littered the ground from what could only be assumed to be from shells belonging to a nearby abandoned tank. Saitama looked at the broken buildings and the dark sky, wondering just where the hell he was. Only a few moments ago he was walking through City Z and now he was in some apocalyptic wasteland. Saitama scratched his head in confusion until a voice spoke out. "Oh, wow. Look at you. You're a funny looking one." Saitama turned and looked at the figure before him. It crouched in front of him, teeth bared. He wore a yellow costume with blue horns and had long silver claws protruding from his left arm. His right arm was nothing more than sinews hanging down from a gory hole. His mouth had strips of flesh hanging and his claws were dyed red. Saitama scratched his chin. "Hey, are you coming from a costume contest or something? Well, Halloween isn't for another few months, so…"

Suddenly, another voice spoke behind him. "Huh? I thought we got everyone? How'd we miss this?" This figure wore a red, white, and blue costume and held a round shield. Part of his head was missing as his brains spilled onto the ground. Behind him, a creature in a spider costume jumped in with a man in a metal suit hovering above him. "Obviously not. He looks a bit… scrawny."

Saitama scratched his chin. "So, you all came from the same costume party? I had no idea they were so popular at this time of the year."

The creatures looked at each other. The clawed man chuckled. "Are you serious, bub? You have any idea what you're dealing with?"

Saitama examined them, closely. After a moment, he snapped his fingers. "Ah! Your costumes! Are you with the hero organization? What are your names supposed to be? The Skinless Slayers? The Toothy Weirdos?"

The patriotic one looked at his comrades. "What the hell is he on about?"

A booming voice suddenly rang out. "It doesn't matter." A colossal costumed man stalked toward the group with a flying woman following. He clenched his fists. "You should eat while you can. I know Hulk is on his way. If he gets here, no one will get a single bite."

Saitama examined the group around him as they argued among themselves. They didn't seem like heroes and they certainly weren't being friendly. They kept going on about eating and had flesh dripping from their skeletal teeth. Saitama snapped his fingers again. "Zombies! You guys must be zombies, right?"

The giant man cackled. "Since you've obviously been living under a rock for the past couple of days, how's about we give you a quick explanation before you die?"

Saitama sighed. ' _Damn it…'_

" _The sky seemed to rip open as someone- or something- fell to the ground below. It wasted no time feeding on the civilians, so we stepped in to stop him. That just led to all of us getting infected with this disease. Heroes all over the world fell and in just a few days, we wiped out-"_ Giant Man was interrupted by Saitama sending a solid punch to his head, disintegrating it. Giant Man's headless body fell limp to the ground. Saitama landed and straightened his gloves. "Blah blah blah. You talk too much. I thought you'd be a lot stronger, too."

Spider Man looked at the scene in surprise. "What just happened? He moved so fast… he just blew Giant Man's head off! Who is this guy?"

"He's not in any database I have. Maybe he's just been laying low?"

Colonel America growled. "Who cares! It's time to eat, boys!" With that, the group charged at the Caped Baldy. Saitama moved quickly to dodge the strange mix of claws, shields, and teeth swarming him. Wolverine began to get livid. "Stay still!" He said, bringing his claws down. Saitama grabbed hold of them before snapping the weapons off and throwing a solid punch at Wolverine's face. The mutant fell to the ground, dead, but that didn't stop the onslaught. Saitama waved his arm, launching the attackers away. He failed to notice Iron Man above him, arms raised. "Don't worry, guys. Dinner's gonna have to be a bit well done. Locking on… now!" He launched several missiles at the unsuspecting hero, making direct contact. He, then, shot several plasma beams into the smoke, making sure to thoroughly cook whatever was left over. He grinned to himself, not expecting the Caped Baldy to jump from the billowing smoke and punch his face. Saitama landed nonchalantly, looking at the attackers with serious looks. "I'm usually against killing humans, but you guys aren't human anymore." As he spoke, he didn't notice the small insect flying behind him. Suddenly, it grew larger, revealing none other than the Wasp as she opened her mouth and bit down… only to leave with her teeth shattered. She held her mouth in shock. "Why you little…" She was met with a fist to the face as her headless body was launched across the city. Saitama brushed off his shoulder as he glared at the remaining attackers: Spider-Man and Colonel America. They stood their ground, ready to fight for their meal. Colonel America immediately threw his shield at the Caped Baldy before running at him. Saitama caught the shield, allowing the Colonel to jump on it and kick hi adversary in the face. He grinned until he saw that Saitama hadn't moved an inch. The Caped Baldy glared at the patriot before grabbing the shield and slamming the colonel's head into the ground.

Saitama looked at Spider-Man, who readied himself. The spider smirked. "I won't be so easy for you. My agility will allow me to dodge any punch you throw. I-" Suddenly, the earth suddenly shook. A roar was heard across the city, making the very air vibrate. Saitama looked for the source, suddenly interested. Spider-Man gulped. "Oh no… he's here!" He noticed Saitama's distracted self and prepared himself. "He's not even paying me any attention. Now's my chance-" His actions were interrupted when a large, green mass suddenly landed on him, crushing his body, skull and all. Saitama looked at the creature before him in awe. It was colossal and its body rippled with muscles. It looked at Saitama in rage as its mouth watered. The Caped Baldy prepared himself. "Wow. You look strong."

The green creature growled. "Hulk strongest there is! Hulk _hungriest_ there is!" He said, charging. The Hulk pounced on the hero and raised his mouth to his head. Hulk grinned. "Puny baldy's brains will be so much tastier without that hair in the way."

Saitama twitched a bit before throwing a solid punch at the beast's chest, throwing it to the other side of the battlefield. "So what if I'm bald!?" His face was serious as he saw the beast stand back up with a gaping hole in its torso. Hulk roared before going back in. "Hulk is really gonna enjoy eating you!"

"You don't even have a stomach anymore." Saitama caught the Hulk's fists, keeping them both in a stalemate. Hulk grunted as he kept pushing forward, snapping his jaws at the bald head in front of him. Saitama just looked at him, bored. "This is your power?" He sighed. "You just had to go and get my hopes up." He quickly threw a weak uppercut, shattering the lower jaw of the Hulk. The beast stumbled backwards, his jaw hanging loosely from his face. He glared at Saitama, but was only met with a red-gloved fist. Saitama destroyed the head of the Hulk and looked at the mess around him. The bodies of the zombies were scattered about in bloodied messes. Saitama looked at his gloves and frowned. He had gotten blood on them again. Before he could get upset about that, however, there was another problem.

"How do I get home?"


End file.
